Love, Julia

I sign almost all of my correspondence “Love, Julia.”  I started doing this a few years ago when I came across the question, “Are you willing to risk being compassionate?” and I wondered how being compassionate and riskiness were related.  Being compassionate seems like such a nice thing, how could it be risky? Then I thought about what it would look like to be compassionate all the time,  that is, to live out of love, rather than fear, all the time.  I thought about all the times I have felt like my actions, which were intended to be kind, have been misunderstood.  So I reframed the question, “Are you willing to risk being misunderstood to live lovingly?”  Now, no one can live lovingly all the time; so I decided to start signing all my correspondence (and with e-mail I write a lot of it), “Love, Julia” in order to remind myself, several times a day, to act out of  love, rather than fear.  Every time I write that, I think about love — how risky, yet essential, it is.  Sometimes when I sign a note, “Love, Julia” I am writing to someone I mad at and don’t feel very loving towards.  And sometimes, even though I promised myself and God that I’d always do it, I just can’t bring myself to write “Love,” because I am certain I’ll be misunderstood.  But, ending almost everything I write in that way has become so much of a habit that I think about it with every letter or e-mail I write.  Which, I hope, is something – I think about acting out of love several times a day, whether or not I’m brave enough to actually do it.